When I first decided to go all out, at being a girl, the problem of clothing arose, and it was quite a while before I added underwear to the ensemble. I wanted to wear girl clothes all the time from day zero, and I thought that something androgynous, like jeans and jumpers would do, providing they were female jeans and jumpers of course. Jay hit that on the head straight away, and Andrea, (my first name for myself), went under cover. I started secretly wearing some old clothes of Jay's that I found in the eaves of our house. I was counselled against doing this, and so I got some of my mum's that I found in her attic. It was later still that sis gave me some that she had bought, and never got around to wearing. But underwear, that was another problem.
The problem was me - I was just so scared of finding that I was turned on by underwear. I was scared that if I tried wearing bras and panties, and I was turned on - then it would mean I wasn't gender dysphoric, but just going through some late middle aged fetish - just a dirty old man. When wearing proper clothes, (women's clothes that is), didn't turn me on - but it just felt so right, comfortable, normal, and made me feel gloriously contented - but not aroused, thank goodness, then I decided to try underwear. I had bought some underwear from Aldi supermarket before, and I felt hugely embarrassed.
'Surely everyone will know they are for me and not my wife', I thought. The cashiers didn't seem bothered. I had broken the ice - so to speak - before panty day, by buying hold-ups first, and later a bra. Now the panties; plain, white, and tight; they were my first choice, and since then I have experimented with thongs and shorts, and delicate colours, cottons and synthetics. The thongs were a waste of money, but a girl’s got to try everything, has she not? I still feel embarrassed when shopping for ‘delicates’, but not so much anymore – practice makes perfect. I like the cotton ones best, and the Sloggi from Matalan are very comfortable.
You are probably wondering where all this leading, and what was today’s faux pas. First off, I only wore the underwear when cross-dressing, but as I got more familiar with it, I decided to wear it as often as possible, and still do. If I can’t wear proper clothes daily, at least I can wear something no one recognises as being girlie, or I can wear something no one can see, or both of course. My trainers are women’s shoes, but no one can tell as Reebok are very good at making identical styles for both sexes, so that covers the first point; point two is the underwear of course, but you knew that already. So I wear panties during most daytimes, and underpants at night.
Now picture the scene, I’ve been gardening, and I have got grubby, I come in doors, and say hi to Jay and got to the bedroom. Jay follows, and is admiring my handiwork from the window, and I get undressed, ready to head for the shower. You’ve got it one, I’m standing with Jay, in just my panties chatting about the garden. She glances down and I NOW remember I’m in Anna’s underwear, and not Bob’s. Julie looks out at the garden again and I nonchalantly amble out to the bathroom and whip my panties off, and back to Jay as though nothing has happened. No big explosion, no row, nothing! I was in my white plain cotton ones, and all she saw was something white, and I guess what she was actually checking on was – was I nude in front of the window – no, so she was satisfied. She has a thing about nudity in front of the window, even though it overlooks the back garden, and the nearest house with line of sight would need a telescope to see anything.
She probably knows I am into panties now though. We were watching Countdown and the teatime teaser was something to do with underwear, and I got the answer very quickly of course – LoL – and Jay jokingly asked, (I hope she was joking), if I wore frilly underwear. Of course I said that I didn’t, and added that I could spot frilly underwear a mile off. I’m a lousy liar, even with all this practice since day zero happened, so I guess she knows now.
My next goal – to wear proper underwear at night too. If you have read more than one or two of my posts you’ll be thinking – ‘When hell freezes over’. Laugh out loud.
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