There was a very interesting program on the Open University umpteen years ago, and it used a 3D graph that explained how people react to events. Why is it interesting? Because it explained why, when you upset your partner big time, the explosion doesn't come until sometime later, but when it does, you actually have to improve a huge amount, (be amazingly contrite etc), before they flip back to cheerfulness. Flipping describes it just right too. There is something similar in science and maths called hysteresis, where the effects of an action, trail behind that action. So, calling your partner a silly moo today, may bring a big problem tomorrow.
It's hysteresis that has proved my undoing. Over several years, I was gradually cultivating my feminine traits, and I thought I was doing very well, especially as I hadn't had any adverse feedback from Jay. By this, I mean I was doing it full time. Then one day, she noticed that Bob wasn't that Bobish, I guess - and kaboom. Retracting some of the femininity did no good; I had to go almost all the way back to Bobsville. The kaboom happened after a visit from my lovely sister-in-law, so she may have awoken Jay to all those small changes I had made. I adore them both, so I can't blame them, can I? I haven't a plan yet of where to go from here though, but I'm not giving up my cross dressing time, and my yearning to explore and show off my femininity.
Talking of cross dressing, did I mention that I have been practicing wearing my wig? and that I caught an image of myself in the mirror - and that I looked like my daughter. She's lovely, and quite pretty, so that's no bad thing. The other night, I had my first big dress up since the broken wrist saga - I have been a bit reluctant to do any cross dressing really, but I didn't let that worry me. First I had another wow! moment. I put the eye shadow on - properly this time, both shades, right up to the eyebrows. The brown was neat, but when you add the other, light colour, it all changes and looks - glorious. Then the other night, I decided to do eye shadow, wig, nylons, bra and everything. I was dressed in my favourite long skirt and blouse, sashaying about the room in my high heels, watching my image in the mirror, when I just smiled at the whole thing - and my features changed, and I just looked so utterly feminine, it was gorgeous. If I can capture that on camera, Ill plaster it all over my sites. So watch this space.
Wigs - a girl was asking on Angels, 'How do other CDs cope with the head temperature, when they wear a wig all day?' I'd like to know too - LoL. I couldn't wear my current, cheap and horrible, wig outside though, as I think it's a bit too big and loose. Noeleena gave me a site that does nice wigs, and sooner or later I will have to get something decent, and that means expensive - well, to me it does - LoL.
Hugs to every one, Anna
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