Boobs and more Boobs with Facebook help.

Being realistic, my feelings towards my own breasts is more wishful thinking than anything else, as it will probably take a year before any sure signs appear. But I like them.

We bought a new desktop computer at the beginning of the year, because the one Jay uses died. It gave out a few warning signs so I backed all the important docs and pics onto an external hard drive. The new machine uses Windows 7 Professional, which I don't like. None of my software works, and it didn't come with an email reader, you have to buy one at £100s. I had just got it all running, when the operating system went bonkers and wouldn't start. With the aid of some info on the net and my tame IBM pal, I got it going. But I had some fun with Facebook.

Facebook, bless their hearts, will only let one account use your mobile phone, so when I added my girlie account to my phone, it dumped Jays, and told her so! "Don't worry" I said, "it's probably a software glitch".

Somewhere along the line, I decided to join Facebook as my male self, not thinking there would be a problem. So their I am, getting Jay's machine Facebook enabled, and the first person it shows Jay as a possible friend is Anna. Jay's not very tolerant where computers are concerned, and she doesn't appreciate the 'help' they try to give her. She doesn't want friends apart from the few relations she plays scrabble with - her reason being, that they develop lots of 'naff' postings on her page that she has no interest in. I told her it was probably a friend of a friend of friend, that the useless software had turned up. Needless to say, when she wasn't looking, I put Anna into the 'block and don't mention her ever again' list.

I guess the software found Anna in my Andy mail list and thought it was a good idea to introduce her to Jay - NOOooo.

The next fun thing was a lovely visit from my lovely daughter. She decided to introduce Jay to a new game - Drawsomething by OMGsoftware - it is lots of fun, just like pictionary but you need an iPhone. Being a lovely girl, I put it in on my phone for her (I think she needs a serious birthday present - LoL) and it has been lots of fun watching the pics go back and forwards between her opponents. She has four, son and daughter and partners. I didn't realise that Drawsomething could be a spectator sport, but it is. The only problem being, it uses Facebook for it's login, and I had the Facebook app for my girlie account - needless to say, I have disabled it for now, and the program has to go to Facebook via Safari or 3G or whatever.

It is fun having a boy Facebook account, as I've connected to all the family across the globe. It's nice seeing all the family pics of birthdays etc. I had just better not let a link show between them and Anna. OMG, you don't suppose they get Anna on their hints page too do you. The answer has got to be yes I guess. I have put my photos out of reach of the public, as I didn't want Jay getting nosey one day, so hopefully, I am still incognito to casual browsers. Sometimes technology can be too clever for our own good.

Hugs, Anna x

Soaps put the skids under Anna.

Well, sort of. Jays stopped watching the soaps - my usual time for doing things as Anna, cross-dressing, nails, practicing make-up and stuff. I haven't actually done any cross-dressing for ages, but I'm sure it's not just the rubbish story lines that have got up Jays nose, I reckon she thinks it'll curtail my Anna stuff. She's wasting her time. Well actually not, as we've been going out for walks in the evening, and doing some geocaching. I like doing things with Jay, and I'm still Anna inside, so at the moment it doesn't matter - but watch this space.

I've always got something femme on, and I have femme clothes in various hidey holes - including my male underwear drawer in the bedroom, suitably hidden at the back of course. I've been using my green eye-shadow this last week, and it looks so nice, especially after using the brown for so long.

I was wondering if not been keen on cross-dressing at the moment, is because I would really like to go on a shopping spree for some fresh clothes. As Anna, I so adore shopping, so that means all the time really. I guess I need some unchaperoned time again - LoL.

Have fun, hugs Anna. x

Wigs by Post - or How I had a Cunning Plan

If you need cheering up, I hope this gives you a chuckle, I'm still smiling, 2 weeks later.

Those of you whom are regular readers, will recall from the comments department, that Tina offered to sell me one or two of her wigs. Noeleena sent me details of a good wig site, but as my en femme time is all closet, and very short in the time department, I didn't want to spend a lot, so Tina's offer had my vote.

Tina sent me some pics of the two wigs, and I rather fancied the blond one with dark highlights, (lowlights?), (streaks?). Now, here is the clever bit - no sniggering yet please - because I had a cunning plan!! Jay being about as anti-Anna as you can get, I needed to be sneaky, so I asked Tina to send me the wig, so that it would arrive while we were on holiday in Scotland. I'm always the first into the house when we get home, so I could scoop it up, with the rest of the mail, a yard high behind the door.

This year the camp wi-fi was on zero bar, occasionally going into one. I kept trying the laptop in various locations around the cottage, and in the second week got a few connections, two I had to duck out of quickly when Jay came into the open-plan lounge-kitchen, and once I actually got Tina on that Yahoo chat thing that pops up when you are checking your mail; well, we'd hardly swapped a couple of sentences and the link crashed out.

I needed an internet connection because my lovely sister-in-law (MLSiL), had flown to Prestwick with Ryan Air, (never again she said), and you have to book in by internet. So it's day 3 or 4 of the two week holiday, and I drive to the restaurant, (they have wi-fi there, even though it's closed for modernisation), complete with laptop and MLSiL. We get an instant connect, but hit a problem when it says 'Press the print button to print out your boarding pass'. Nice one Ryan. Just then a couple of workers come out of the restaurant, and had a bit of a chuckle about us using their wi-fi. They pointed us in the direction of the Fort William library, who do internet stuff.

The Library staff were super, and we soon had a log-in, (free), and quickly had the printout, (20p). MLSiL goes off looking for slippers and I check Anna's mail. There is one from Tina,, and she said "The wig is in an anonymous looking jiffy bag. It went through my letterbox at a push, so if it doesn't go through yours, they'll leave a note and you can collect it from the sorting office". I'm mulling this over and I spot an email with Tina's latest blog. I'm just reading this "Just a Tranny at Heart" story when MLSiL is standing behind me saying that she couldn't find any slippers. I hastily log out of it and off we go.

I spend the rest of the holiday mulling over the wig affair; unfortunately, our postie doesn't do tickets; ours does the - leave it next door thing. I thought I needed a contingency plan, like where is the best lawyer, how do I split the car and the new digital TV, could I stay in the house and have the upper floor - no just kidding - but a little spanner was about to hit the works. On day 8 my right ankle swelled up, followed three days later by my left ankle, and they ballooned and made walking almost impossible. The A&E didn't know what was happening, but gave me some Voltarol and told me to keep my legs up.

The rest of the holiday still went OK, Jay doing all the driving, and me on the back seat. On the drive home, I managed a couple of stints driving, and then I had a cunning plan. I delegated unloading the car to Jay, suggesting she piled everything on to the top step at the front door, and I'd heave them in from there. This got me into the house first, where I retrieved the jiffy bag and hid it. Later, with the luggage all indoors, Jay went off to the supermarket for some groceries, and I was up the stairs, quicker than a snail, to try the wigs on - yes, the lovely Tina had sent them both. I look my most feminine yet > pics to follow.

Tina bless her, let me set the price, and asked me to donate the monies to charity, rather than give it to her. Her charity was the breast cancer charity that Astrid is supporting in her moon walk. It's my favourite charity too, so it's kind of apt I think.

So, I have some homework for you girls - please visit Astrids site and if you feel empathy with her, help her on her way to her target. Thank you. No apologies for pushy though - LoL.

Accessory-ising

I've been shopping again, but this time, I'm into accessory-ising ~ at least, I think that's what it is. I've bought a ladies watch, and the neat thing about it is, it has spring loaded half bands, that clamp around your wrist. I can whip it on an off in seconds. I wore it all afternoon and evening the other day, hidden under a long sleeve sweatshirt. But like all wearable contraband, it's so easy to forget you have it on. I started undressing the other night in our bedroom, Jay was doing a crossword in bed, and I had to nonchalantly pull my trousers back up over my panties, and finish changing in my bathroom - LoL. Just as well she had her head in the crossword, and not on me.

We replaced the down stairs bath with a walk-in-shower, which is next to our bedroom; this was for Jay's hip problems, and then we built a dormer bathroom with another walk-in-shower in the roof. This is mine. I adore it. It's my girlie zone - unknown to every one else of course - I feel so feminine on my own in there, and I've secreted some of my girlie bits there too. I know it's a bit risky, but so far, Jay hasn't shown any disposition towards searches, and it's nice to have things handy, and not hidden behind a wall of boxes. It's where I practise my make-up, do waxing and plucking etc. Talking of plucking, I have noticed a tiny problem here, the regrowth is very dark at first, so they show up quite a bit before they get long enough for re-plucking. Yes - I can see some of you thinking already - is she cut out for this girlie stuff? Forever complaining about thick eyeliner, nails always growing, eyebrows always growing - and you can add to that, thin lips. I just can't get them to look right yet with my lippo on. But it's fun practising.

I want some feminine spectacles next, to go with the planned new hairstyle - well, wig. At the moment I'm just thinking of those off the shelf ones at the local chemist, (spectacles, not wigs that is). I realise they are only fit for reading, or in this case, reading and self portraits - LoL. You never know, you may get to see what a sight I am. I do have a pair of glasses that are unisex, which Jay doesn't like of course, but they are single-focal ones, set up to use at computers. I got them on that - buy one, get one free thing. To me, they don't look feminine enough.

Things at home got a bit sticky, and so I've stopped using the net when Jay is around. I was being a bit blatant about it, in fact the blatantness was terrific. Making it obvious that I'm not surfing, seems to have done the trick, except I haven't had time to see what you girls are up to. I'm working on solving that one - LoL.

Hugs to you all, Anna.

Hysteresis and Cross dressing, at last.

There was a very interesting program on the Open University umpteen years ago, and it used a 3D graph that explained how people react to events. Why is it interesting? Because it explained why, when you upset your partner big time, the explosion doesn't come until sometime later, but when it does, you actually have to improve a huge amount, (be amazingly contrite etc), before they flip back to cheerfulness. Flipping describes it just right too. There is something similar in science and maths called hysteresis, where the effects of an action, trail behind that action. So, calling your partner a silly moo today, may bring a big problem tomorrow.

It's hysteresis that has proved my undoing. Over several years, I was gradually cultivating my feminine traits, and I thought I was doing very well, especially as I hadn't had any adverse feedback from Jay. By this, I mean I was doing it full time. Then one day, she noticed that Bob wasn't that Bobish, I guess - and kaboom. Retracting some of the femininity did no good; I had to go almost all the way back to Bobsville. The kaboom happened after a visit from my lovely sister-in-law, so she may have awoken Jay to all those small changes I had made. I adore them both, so I can't blame them, can I? I haven't a plan yet of where to go from here though, but I'm not giving up my cross dressing time, and my yearning to explore and show off my femininity.

Talking of cross dressing, did I mention that I have been practicing wearing my wig? and that I caught an image of myself in the mirror - and that I looked like my daughter. She's lovely, and quite pretty, so that's no bad thing. The other night, I had my first big dress up since the broken wrist saga - I have been a bit reluctant to do any cross dressing really, but I didn't let that worry me. First I had another wow! moment. I put the eye shadow on - properly this time, both shades, right up to the eyebrows. The brown was neat, but when you add the other, light colour, it all changes and looks - glorious. Then the other night, I decided to do eye shadow, wig, nylons, bra and everything. I was dressed in my favourite long skirt and blouse, sashaying about the room in my high heels, watching my image in the mirror, when I just smiled at the whole thing - and my features changed, and I just looked so utterly feminine, it was gorgeous. If I can capture that on camera, Ill plaster it all over my sites. So watch this space.

Wigs - a girl was asking on Angels, 'How do other CDs cope with the head temperature, when they wear a wig all day?' I'd like to know too - LoL. I couldn't wear my current, cheap and horrible, wig outside though, as I think it's a bit too big and loose. Noeleena gave me a site that does nice wigs, and sooner or later I will have to get something decent, and that means expensive - well, to me it does - LoL.

Hugs to every one, Anna

Undies on Show

When I first decided to go all out, at being a girl, the problem of clothing arose, and it was quite a while before I added underwear to the ensemble. I wanted to wear girl clothes all the time from day zero, and I thought that something androgynous, like jeans and jumpers would do, providing they were female jeans and jumpers of course. Jay hit that on the head straight away, and Andrea, (my first name for myself), went under cover. I started secretly wearing some old clothes of Jay's that I found in the eaves of our house. I was counselled against doing this, and so I got some of my mum's that I found in her attic. It was later still that sis gave me some that she had bought, and never got around to wearing. But underwear, that was another problem.

The problem was me - I was just so scared of finding that I was turned on by underwear. I was scared that if I tried wearing bras and panties, and I was turned on - then it would mean I wasn't gender dysphoric, but just going through some late middle aged fetish - just a dirty old man. When wearing proper clothes, (women's clothes that is), didn't turn me on - but it just felt so right, comfortable, normal, and made me feel gloriously contented - but not aroused, thank goodness, then I decided to try underwear. I had bought some underwear from Aldi supermarket before, and I felt hugely embarrassed.

'Surely everyone will know they are for me and not my wife', I thought. The cashiers didn't seem bothered. I had broken the ice - so to speak - before panty day, by buying hold-ups first, and later a bra. Now the panties; plain, white, and tight; they were my first choice, and since then I have experimented with thongs and shorts, and delicate colours, cottons and synthetics. The thongs were a waste of money, but a girl’s got to try everything, has she not? I still feel embarrassed when shopping for ‘delicates’, but not so much anymore – practice makes perfect. I like the cotton ones best, and the Sloggi from Matalan are very comfortable.

You are probably wondering where all this leading, and what was today’s faux pas. First off, I only wore the underwear when cross-dressing, but as I got more familiar with it, I decided to wear it as often as possible, and still do. If I can’t wear proper clothes daily, at least I can wear something no one recognises as being girlie, or I can wear something no one can see, or both of course. My trainers are women’s shoes, but no one can tell as Reebok are very good at making identical styles for both sexes, so that covers the first point; point two is the underwear of course, but you knew that already. So I wear panties during most daytimes, and underpants at night.

Now picture the scene, I’ve been gardening, and I have got grubby, I come in doors, and say hi to Jay and got to the bedroom. Jay follows, and is admiring my handiwork from the window, and I get undressed, ready to head for the shower. You’ve got it one, I’m standing with Jay, in just my panties chatting about the garden. She glances down and I NOW remember I’m in Anna’s underwear, and not Bob’s. Julie looks out at the garden again and I nonchalantly amble out to the bathroom and whip my panties off, and back to Jay as though nothing has happened. No big explosion, no row, nothing! I was in my white plain cotton ones, and all she saw was something white, and I guess what she was actually checking on was – was I nude in front of the window – no, so she was satisfied. She has a thing about nudity in front of the window, even though it overlooks the back garden, and the nearest house with line of sight would need a telescope to see anything.

She probably knows I am into panties now though. We were watching Countdown and the teatime teaser was something to do with underwear, and I got the answer very quickly of course – LoL – and Jay jokingly asked, (I hope she was joking), if I wore frilly underwear. Of course I said that I didn’t, and added that I could spot frilly underwear a mile off. I’m a lousy liar, even with all this practice since day zero happened, so I guess she knows now.

My next goal – to wear proper underwear at night too. If you have read more than one or two of my posts you’ll be thinking – ‘When hell freezes over’. Laugh out loud.

Hugs Anna.