Anna gets a Holiday

I always take some girlie stuff on holidays, and usually under-dress on the journey home. Wearing anything at all on other days isn't possible, as getting things cleaned is out of the question when we are away from home. I use eyeshadow daily, but only subtle shades, and not a lot of it so no one notices. I have my lipstick, which I'd never dare use, but I have it with me, just like a normal girl would, plus some tights of course.

We arrived at our self catering cottage on a Friday evening, and nipped out to Lostwithiel for some food for the next days breakfast, before an evening of games and bed. Saturday we went to Bodmin for a big shop up, and passed a school (I think) with a model railway exhibition going on, so of course I wondered if Angie had been there. We had some nice days out when the weather was good, about one day in three, and lots of beautiful autumn colours about. We chose this time of year because it was the first two weeks of the cheap season. Our little group concisted of Jay, Emm and myself. Emm is Jay's older sister by a few years; she's a bit batty, but is lots of fun, as she likes the same kind of stuff that we do, and she's mad keen on photography. We compare pics using the Wii picture show utility, (it's so brill) each evening. The good news was - Emm likes watching the soaps. Jay, you may remember has gone off the soaps, and so I get very little unhindered time for doing things Anna, but with Emm leading, the soaps were back on.

The bedrooms etc were down stairs, so I headed there, spent a minute or two doing a sedoku, and then stripped and put a towel on, girlie style of course. I put some lipstick on; filed and buffed my nails; plucked my eyebrows back into shape, and got the silky mitt and dehaired my hands and feet and knees. I usually use wax strips for the hands, knees, and feet, but I hadn't thought to bring any. Finally, I removed the make-up and showered. Back up stairs, when Jay asked what I'd been doing, I replied that I'd laid on the bed doing sudokos, and had a shower - perfectly truthful. I got four lovely sessions of pampering myself Anna style, and it felt so good.

The only drawback was - hardly any wi-fi for the phone. The laptop picked it up, but I have no Anna passwords on that. I got all your updates, blogs and Facebook stuff via emails, but no wi-fi meant no replying to anything. Perhaps I shouldn't whinge, as it was a super break.

Hugs Anna x

I hate Passwords

My password stopped working, and it has taken me a week to get it going again. I was so mad with Google.

It kept going around in circles, so I asked it to send me the name of the blog associated with the account - the access name being my email - and a message came back saying it had no information linked to that addrress - Oh Yes??? So how come they kept sending me emails. I eventually found an old email with the info I wanted. At first it looked like the same loop had kicked in, but on the first cycle up popped the reset app.

Now I have a google account email too. Funny old thing, but when I selected the new password - and of course, I entered the one that I previously had - it said 'You can't use a previous password, select a new one'!

So here I am. I thought I was going to be staring at a useless blog (tut tut, naughty thoughts LoL) for two years until it dropped into the dead bucket.

At least you all know I'm still alive and having fun, but not necessarily in Anna mode. Even if I haven't been in here I've been following your lovely blogs on my iPhone. I just adore my phone - it's so nice having Anna in there, and doing Anna things.

One thing that has popped into my head a few times is - how long will it be before I sign an email as Anna when it should be Andy - LoL. I like my girl name so much, so I'm not changing it now - :-)

Have fun, and enjoy your lives,

Hugs Anna x

Soaps put the skids under Anna.

Well, sort of. Jays stopped watching the soaps - my usual time for doing things as Anna, cross-dressing, nails, practicing make-up and stuff. I haven't actually done any cross-dressing for ages, but I'm sure it's not just the rubbish story lines that have got up Jays nose, I reckon she thinks it'll curtail my Anna stuff. She's wasting her time. Well actually not, as we've been going out for walks in the evening, and doing some geocaching. I like doing things with Jay, and I'm still Anna inside, so at the moment it doesn't matter - but watch this space.

I've always got something femme on, and I have femme clothes in various hidey holes - including my male underwear drawer in the bedroom, suitably hidden at the back of course. I've been using my green eye-shadow this last week, and it looks so nice, especially after using the brown for so long.

I was wondering if not been keen on cross-dressing at the moment, is because I would really like to go on a shopping spree for some fresh clothes. As Anna, I so adore shopping, so that means all the time really. I guess I need some unchaperoned time again - LoL.

Have fun, hugs Anna. x

The Techno-ising of Anna - ish!!

I was going to do some crossdressing this evening, but I've decided to use the time to write a blog.

I've been quite happy with my mobile phone, which I've had 5 years or so. Keeping your old phone normally gets you cheaper tariffs on it's upgrade birthday, but as I mentioned somewhere, I've taken on my sons iPhone, as he has upgraded to the 4 version. Oh my god, how good is it? Awesome, that's what. In my normal lacklustre way with things technical, I am never going to learn everything it does - but who cares - the bits I have discovered are so brilliant.

Stupid or Brave? That is the next question. Somehow I got it to link with my iPhone account, my Geocaching account, and my Yahoo mail account - and all this in Bob mode for my Andy stuff. It was so easy, so after a couple of weeks I added my Anna Yahoo mail account. Yes - that's the stupid or brave bit. Andy at Yahoo only gets sensible mail, all our main mail and joke rubbish goes through the computer with - with - hmm - some program that you click on, and it goes there and down loads the stuff. (Outlook Express - Ed!) For Yahoo, I log on manually and read everything on line at Yahoo HQ. I found all my Flickr update emails were coming to my phone - how cool is that. So that's why I thought it would be cool to add my Anna account - it's fantastic.

I can read all your blogs that get sent to Yahoo, right off the phone. Some, with wider columns are not very user friendly, cos it takes too much cursoring around, but the narrower ones, I can fit in the screen and just pan down as I read. So I get instant updates of all my mail, blogs, Angels and Transliving Internatiional posts, and Facebook bits. The mail updates don't make a noise when they come in, unlike texts, so there are no tell tale give-aways. It's so nice having my proper stuff, (Anna's stuff), on the phone. I'm taking the risk as Jay is even less technically minded than I am, but if the world blows up, it's my fault - LoL.

Do you remember I was experimenting with full-briefs underwear, and I said that I thought they would be too big, and would show above the waist line? I finally tried them out the other month, and worn with belted jeans, or sports-style-trousers with a tea-shirt tucked in, they are no trouble at all, and they are SO comfortable. I can under-dress quite safely with them. The other thing I like about girls underwear, is that they are so flattering; in as much that for reasons of restraint, and  to keep everything tucked in, you need to wear items a couple of sizes smaller than your dress size. I'm a 16 top, 14 bottom, and so a 10 to 12 in panties - roughly speaking, as it's amazing how sizes very from different suppliers.

Waxing Lyrical - Again! ouch

‘Ok’, I thought, ‘lets put my wax strips where my mouth is’ – just figuratively of course. I did wonder, whether my big wax strips would be just as good, along the bikini line, as the little ‘ bikini line’ strips. So I put them to the test, and? I was wrong. The top of my thighs looked liked they had been kicked by a navvy – a thick line of bruises. The hair came away ok, but bon’t ask me why pulling hair off created such a mess, ‘cos I don’t know. I had to do some careful undressing for a while, so Jay didn’t spot the evidence – LoL.

We went to Kent for six days to see mum and various relations, and then onto Bristol. My son was having his graduation, his second one. He went through university many years ago, and graduated as an archeological preserver, but couldn’t get an archaeology type job, so he works in a call centre. His current employer paid for a Contact Centre Management degree, and it took three years; one afternoon a week off work,  so that’s an eight hour day, four in the firms time, and four in his own time, plus all the homework etc. Lots of work, but he came away with a 2.1, so we are all pleased with that.

We didn’t go to the post ceremony party, as we all opted to do a bit of a family history hunt. We went to Berkeley, just outside Bristol, to see the house where my great granddad was born, and where he lived, before moving to Kent. We then went to see his mum and dads grave, in the local cemetery there, and it is such a pretty place, I wouldn’t mind being buried there myself – LoL. Not for a while I hope! The family worked at Berkeley Castle some of the time, but also had their own cooperage, brewery and sauces.

I had booked us into a guesthouse, on the outskirts of Bristol for two nights. I’d asked for a room with twin beds, thinking it would be cheaper than the doubles, but unfortunately, all the en suites were the same price. There was a surprise bonus for me though – it enabled me to sleep in my feminine underwear. I usually manage to underdress the last two days of a stay anywhere, but underdressing in bed - a sweet delight.

I’ve bought a brown eyeliner pencil, but I haven’t used it out yet. Every time I go out un-chaperoned, I take my lipstick, and put it on when I get to town. My eyeliner skills are so useless though, so at the moment I’m practising at home. It’s always a bit of a panic situation, as I never believe I’m going to get the stuff off cleanly, before reappearing downstairs en homme – LoL.  It comes off a lot easier now that I’ve got the gen from Stacy, but it’s never a quick fix – or un-fix, LoL.

I’ve just read the instructions in my wax strip box, which tells me that I should cut the strips into small strips, before using them on the bikini line. They never remove 100% of hair, and I use each strip three to five times on the same area, to remove as much as possible. Reading other girls epilatory endeavours, leads me to think that no system is perfect.

A Lady in Waiting

I get lots of fun reading everyone’s blogs – not everyone on the net silly, LoL, just everyone I follow and hop through. I just adore all the differences we have, and the similarities with-in the differences – if you see what I mean. You all give me masses of fun, and more importantly, lots of hope.

Hoping for what – I’m not sure really – but probably that I can cope with the big discrepancy of what I’d like to be; like to have, and what I’ve got. There’s girls on Angels that have even less time and more hassles than me, so I’m not that badly off really.  I’ve been going through a phase where I have hardly had any crossdressing time at all – not to be confused with underdressing and a little make-up, which I do all the time. But then yesterday, I had a very powerful need to crossdress, and do the whole transformation thing – not a good day for it though, so I got rather sulky and down about it all. Today? – everything is OK. Jay is heading for the hairdressers, which she hates, and I’m heading for my clothes cache. I just need to get the timing right – LoL.

So how did it go? Very nicely, but today it was weird, because I was like, androgenised, dressed in gear that both sexes wear, using Bob Togs, but feeling feminine, and looking fairly feminine too I think – (I hope!). I had a photo shoot, as you can see – more on Flickr – and enjoyed the short hour of illicitness – just so nice.

It’s now 4 days later, and Jay has been as grumpy as hell – that silent kind of grumpyness. I guessed she suspected I was going to play while she was out. But no, it’s a long boring story about how and why they got there, but I dropped a pair of bright blue frilly thongs, in the bedroom no less, and jay found them first. It took me a day and a half to realise they were missing, and then work out why Jay was silently grumpy. I am so a muppet. She did at least say that she still loves me. We so adore each other, but have this little mismatch that is Anna.

I read a story written by Girlscot, called Josh and Gail part 2. A conversation between two people, Josh coming out to Gail about being transgendered.

Go to http://www.fictionmania.tv

At the bottom of the page click on the word ‘ENTER’

Then cut and paste  http://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyID=1286875449548092363

Into the browser address bar, and you’ll be there.

I cried when I read the story, partly in shame – it’s brilliantly written, and shows Gails side, all her fears, and questions, and worries – I can’t believe how crass and insensitive I was to Jays feelings when I told her I was, and wanted to be a woman. In my defence, I was in a bad depression, and I’d gone to my GP to get help, so I probably wasn’t thinking straight – but it’s a poor excuse. How do I atone for that, eight years later?

Cisgender, but that's not me.

I came across this new term the other day, and it wasn’t obvious to me, what it was all about. It appears that a cisgender person is someone who is happy with the gender they were born with/ born as. Sadly, I found this after coming across a post on Angels or Transliving International. A girl was talking about a friends partner, who had been the subject of abuse by a transgendered person, who she criticised as being cisphobic.

Abuse in any form, and in any direction is abhorrent to most of us, and from what I have read in other girls blogs, there are lots of support out there from cisgendered persons. At the moment, I can’t get my head round the fact, at all. We get so much help from non transgender/ non gender dysphoric friends,family and partners, that to pick on someone else’s partner is beyond belief.

My son split up from his first serious partner, (I think), and was a bit upset that we didn’t cut our ties with him too. We had built up a bond of our own, and you can’t change your affections just like that. Had we gone off the deep end, it could have looked like we were being homophobic from an outsider, who didn’t know the whole tail. We aren’t homophobic as I’ve said, but that doesn’t mean we’ll like every gay person we meet, (and we haven’t); so perhaps the above subject event was a one off fallout, but as I don’t know what was said by whom, etc. I don’t know that. The tone in which we say things can put a completely different slant on even a simple statement, and no doubt the writer of the post had taken this in to account.

Lets raise our glasses, to all those cisgender, transgender, and any other gender people we know, and be tolerant of, and blessed with, all our differences.

Love and hugs to you all, Anna, xxx

Accessory-ising

I've been shopping again, but this time, I'm into accessory-ising ~ at least, I think that's what it is. I've bought a ladies watch, and the neat thing about it is, it has spring loaded half bands, that clamp around your wrist. I can whip it on an off in seconds. I wore it all afternoon and evening the other day, hidden under a long sleeve sweatshirt. But like all wearable contraband, it's so easy to forget you have it on. I started undressing the other night in our bedroom, Jay was doing a crossword in bed, and I had to nonchalantly pull my trousers back up over my panties, and finish changing in my bathroom - LoL. Just as well she had her head in the crossword, and not on me.

We replaced the down stairs bath with a walk-in-shower, which is next to our bedroom; this was for Jay's hip problems, and then we built a dormer bathroom with another walk-in-shower in the roof. This is mine. I adore it. It's my girlie zone - unknown to every one else of course - I feel so feminine on my own in there, and I've secreted some of my girlie bits there too. I know it's a bit risky, but so far, Jay hasn't shown any disposition towards searches, and it's nice to have things handy, and not hidden behind a wall of boxes. It's where I practise my make-up, do waxing and plucking etc. Talking of plucking, I have noticed a tiny problem here, the regrowth is very dark at first, so they show up quite a bit before they get long enough for re-plucking. Yes - I can see some of you thinking already - is she cut out for this girlie stuff? Forever complaining about thick eyeliner, nails always growing, eyebrows always growing - and you can add to that, thin lips. I just can't get them to look right yet with my lippo on. But it's fun practising.

I want some feminine spectacles next, to go with the planned new hairstyle - well, wig. At the moment I'm just thinking of those off the shelf ones at the local chemist, (spectacles, not wigs that is). I realise they are only fit for reading, or in this case, reading and self portraits - LoL. You never know, you may get to see what a sight I am. I do have a pair of glasses that are unisex, which Jay doesn't like of course, but they are single-focal ones, set up to use at computers. I got them on that - buy one, get one free thing. To me, they don't look feminine enough.

Things at home got a bit sticky, and so I've stopped using the net when Jay is around. I was being a bit blatant about it, in fact the blatantness was terrific. Making it obvious that I'm not surfing, seems to have done the trick, except I haven't had time to see what you girls are up to. I'm working on solving that one - LoL.

Hugs to you all, Anna.

Some successes, some set-backs

I need another computer, another contact with the outside world, out of sight from Jay. This one is ok, but I have to put my musings onto a memory stick/key thing and transfer it to my laptop – the Dilly Dell thing. I call it Dilly as in Dilly Daydream, cos the Dell people sell you a machine which is supposed to be all singing and dancing – and everything stops working in one form or another as the months pass, until you buy the upgrades. I refused to be cheated in this way, and got my software else-ware.

That’s not what I wanted to chat about. I just wanted a girlie chat. I noticed that some of my fave blogs are going through a slow period, and that made me aware of my own slowdown too. So I’m chatting.

When I first found the Angels site, I saw Joanna’s post – 10 things every Trannie should know about passing, or some such thing. I’d discovered one or two of them myself.

Waxing: now there’s a problem. I started waxing everything when I realised I was actually a girl, and most of them Jay has banned, but she hasn’t banned waxing the backs of my hands and fingers, or the ‘V’ cleavage of my chest. Waxing the backs of your hands was one of those ’10 things’. If I remember where it was, the list of 10 that is if you are not concentrating, I’ll post a link. The NfY, Niece from Yorkshire, told us a story about one of her workmates. He was so hairy, they nicknamed him Gorilla; it appears his hair went down his arms and right to the ends of his fingers. I had a bit of a smirk, me with thick hair down to my watch line, (when I wear a watch, which is rarely), and then nothing! That’s a bit mean though, calling a guy a gorilla, although gorillas are nice friendly creatures. I had waxed legs all last summer, but eventually the aggro got too much and so I stopped. I’ve bought some hair dye to dye them blonde, so they don’t show up – well, it’s not as if they won’t be there is it – but I’ve chickened out doing it so far.

Plucking the eyebrows – ouch. This is a success. Jay was not impressed when I first did it; the big give away being the pale skin uncovered by the plucking. The good news is – the skin tans up after awhile, and so I continued plucking the darn things without any more hissy fits. Jay trims them with scissors when she cuts my hair – she is very talented, and I love her to bits – so I also trim them myself with an electric razor, which keeps the mass down, while plucking helps the shape.

Nails; they are a blooming nuisance – they never stop growing – oh, you’ve noticed too – and they break off just as I’m getting them into a nice shape. Jay whinges if they get too long for her taste – but mostly she is OK. I think she must gradually get used to them, until suddenly – wham – she suddenly notices I’ve got nice medium length rounded – I don’t care for square – nails. The other thing that attracks unwanted attention is when we both go to grab the same biro or something, and I stab her with a nail – "Your nails are too blooming long again!" quickly follows the ‘ouch’. It’s no wonder that girls use stick on nails, but I have yet to try those. Hmm, that could be this months experiment!!!

Well, that was a nice chat, for me anyway. Bye for now, Anna.

Yahoo 360 Blog and Phones still aren't Us

I started my blog on Yahoo 360, and it is a very nice system, but there are stories abounding that it is going to be shut down. Don't ask me why, I don't care, but I am miffed, because as I just said, I like it there. I've just spent an hour cutting and pasting my Yahoo blog into this, my new one. Now you know why the date on the bottoms of the entries are all the same, and the one's on the top are different.

Things haven't gone too badly since the phone call hiccouugh, except we had a second phone call hiccough. I sent my friend an email saying I'd ring her at a certain time, made available by Jay being out having a hair cut, or she could ring me. I tried to get through and just got rubbishy error messages, so I sent an email saying I couldn't get through, and I'd try another time. When I didn't ring, she checked her emails and found the penultimate one and so she rang me. You can guess what happened, Jay is now home, and we were just going out for a drive, and she answered the phone. Stoney silence from Jay for next few days. We are back to our usual chatty cuddly huggy twosome again now, but I must get a system in place for the phone calls.

Watch this space. Hugs Anna x

Phone Calls are not Us 04 January 2009

I have been chatting to a lovely lady from New Zealand via The Angels Forum, and it's chat room, and today she rang me. We had arranged it by email, and I was hoping that a real person with similar back ground to me, who had made the transition to female would kind of get her round to not thinking she was living a horror story. Wrong! I'm her worst nightmare reincarnated. As I have mentioned somewhere before, I hate these discussions, as I always end up losing a bit more of Anna's time, or Anna's influence, as she has that trump card - 'You are hurting me by doing this - so please stop it', and who can resist the woman you love, suffering in pain and anguish, asking such a simple request?

My sis told me that Jay was scared of losing me, so Jay won't budge a micron on the issue; but I told Sis that not budging is more likely to finish me off than anything else. I have 3 sisters by the way; all of completely different temperaments, but all, both delightful and special, in their own ways. You'll never know which is which though as I always speak of them in the singular, if it's good enough for the big bang, it's good enough for me. Jay complained than sis gives me more support than her, and that our GP gives me more support then her; but when I suggested she got support from one of the organisations around, she said, 'Not flipping likely, they'll only try to make me give in to you!'

So things aren't looking too good. My normal response is to lie low a bit, keep Anna out of sight, and then gently ease her back into life. Jay doesn't know about Anna, as an identity that is, but after this morning she probably does. I say probably, as she was in such a flaming mood, she might have missed that bit.

Jay knitted me a lovely long jumper for Xmas, and it makes a super mini dress. I really do need a wig though, to finish everything off, and then perhaps I'll stick it on Flkr.

Enjoy the New Year, Hugs Anna

Wasn't Xmas fun? 29 December 2008

It was fun, but not as Anna. A houseful of people, wife, sons, and niece-in-law, but no Anna. Well, that's a bit of a lie, as Anna is always here, because she's me, inside me and just dieing to get out. The closest she came to showing her face was when we tried a new game disc on the Wii - boules and beach volley ball. I chose a cute little girl with pigtails, - ok then, not that cute, and Mrs A vetoed that! Only to be expected really, but I nearly got away with it. I found a dark skinned androgynous Mii instead, was which was fine. Anna lost both games, but she's a whizz at ten-pin bowling.

We had to make do with a small amount of time in the hobbies room, where I'd gone to copy some crosswords; we do the general knowledge ones, in a mild competitive way. I put a pair of Anna's shoes on, not much, but something at least. I adore my shoes. Sad though isn't it, where half an hour of almost nothing feels so nice. I'd like the rest of the family to know about Anna, so I wouldn't need all the subterfuge and lieing, but then I'd need a new wife, and I can't give her up, as regular readers will know.

I got caught by the sons when I was on the Angels forum. I hadn't been on it for days, and I just threw caution to the winds and nipped in. Hopefully they will have forgotten about it before inquisitiveness takes hold and they do a google search. I had a horrible sleepless night, stomach in knots, but nothing was said the next morning. With a bit of luck, the status quo will be maintained I suppose. I should moan really, as we had loads of fun, repartee, chat, food, some drink; my lovely sisters text us with well wishes, so all in all, we are well blessed.

If you have any gay friends visit this new on line magazine, it's brilliant.

Polari Magazine

In fact it's interesting even for us straight guys and girls. Start with Clementine - she is hilarious.

Now that I've cheered you all up, I'm off. It's my turn to cook the evening meal, and I fancy fish and chips, and no, it's not the easy option - we like fish and chips!!!

Hugs Anna xx

Lipstick on my Cola

I have been practising with the lipstick of course, but using it has introduced another level of deception, just ripe for creating a hitch, and so it was. Mrs A was watching the soaps; I was dressed en femme, and put my lipstick on, convinced I was getting better at it, and it was a tad thicker. So I sat watching something on the TV while I filed my nails and gave them a buffing, not being passed out for nail polish yet. While this was going on I was drinking a glass of cola. I got back into Bob mode as 8 pm approached and went downstairs.

Fast forward a few hours, and we are in bed, and Mrs A like an ice block, barely reacting to my endearments and sleep tight kisses. ‘Now what have I done?’ I wondered. Mrs A got up and disappeared, and when she hadn’t returned I went to find her. She asked me if I liked the lipstick, and I was a bit gob smacked. Although I had wiped the stuff off my lips, it transpires that I left the evidence on my drinking glass. I can’t help but chuckle over that, as I can’t believe I was such a muffin, as in ‘muffin the mule – fool’, not as in ‘chocolate chip’. The resulting angst wasn’t anything to laugh at though.

We had some tears, and actually talked a bit about it. Interestingly, Mrs A complained that while I was up stairs, ‘doing whatever I do’, she couldn’t come up there, virtually making a part of her home out bounds, so I told her I felt the same way, I wasn’t free to use my home as I wanted either. She complained that I returned from ‘up there’ still in character, poncing about like a girl. I took that as a compliment, as I try to have those subtle womanly traits all the time, even out and about; hmm perhaps not subtle enough. How all this will effect our relationship, and the amount of en femme time I get, time will tell, because, above all else, I’m still a girl in a guys body.

Lipstick and Towels 12 November 2008

I’m sitting en femme with my lippo on, and that is the funny side of today’s blog. Monday evening saw me trying out the lipstick again during my en femme window. It was a super feeling, using it, even if I didn’t get it on to my satisfaction. Not to worry, I have a whole tube of the delightful stuff to practice with. It wasn’t until we were about to go to bed that I realised I hadn’t taken the lipstick off. Luckily we keep the lounge quite dimly lit, although there are 460 watts of light available. I popped into the bathroom, and what did I see, nothing. I obviously didn’t put it on thick enough, and the teas and colas had washed it off. I’ll try to remember to take it off tonight. It has a very nice taste.

I’m feeling a bit sad and tense tonight. Jay is trying to ban me from wearing a towel girlie style, high over my boobs, or what sadly masquerades as boobs on this annoying male personage, and just under my armpits. She said ‘I can’t stand you flouncing around like that’, when I joined her in the kitchen after my shower. I’ve been ‘flouncing’ about like this for 6 years, ever since I came out to her. Her sister stayed with us in September, and I was waiting for her to come out of the shower, and I was towelled up as usual, and she gave me a funny look, so perhaps she had a chat with Jay about it and me. I am surprised, I suppose, that I’ve been lucky to get away with it so long, but I’m a bag of nerves again, butterflies in the tummy, wondering if she is going to start taking an interest in my other girlie things.

Jay has been uptight about me waxing my legs, (I just adore waxing, I’d like to do my whole body), and banned me from removing my chest hair, which I did on day 1. I compromise there, as I have got a vee of clear plucked skin so I can wear open vee neck blouses, or guys shirts, without showing any hair. She checks on the chest zone quite regularly, disguised as a friendly fondle. She doesn’t like it if my vee gets too big. I keep the backs of my hands and tops of my feet waxed too. Every so often I add my shoulders and upper arms to the list too. Perhaps I should enrol for waxing-anonymous.

Lipstick 10 November 2008

I had to go into town last week to the bank, and as I normally do, when out and about un-chaperoned, I headed for the girls departments in the stores. I was tempted to buy some lipstick, which would be my first purchase of an item of self decoration. I blew it before I got to the counter, but I stopped off at Lidl for some groceries, and bought a new bra. It has a preformed shape, and doesn’t need any internal padding. It gives me a delightful smooth bosom shape. Today I drove Jay to her dentist and went into the local chemist, and actually did it; I bought my first lipstick. I was embarrassed, as ever when I buy anything girlie, but never mind, I’ll get used to it one day.

I got home with Jay and immediately headed upstairs to try it out. The colour, Rimmel’s ‘Indulgence’ even looks presentable; as I have no sense of colour, I was expecting the worst. I had to wipe it all off straight away, but this evening I am dressed en femme, and wearing my new lipstick. I only get an hour tonight, but it just feels so marvellous, I’ll be on cloud nine for a few days at least.

In some ways it feels a bit sad that such a small step give so much pleasure, but on the other hand, I should get plenty more getting to my femme incarnation when it happens.

Washing one's clothes 06 Nov 2008

What do you do when you have a Significant Other (SO) that is bitterly against your girlie side? You have to be sneaky, that's what. I don't feel guilty either, as that is such a waste of emotional energy; besides, if one partner makes unilateral decisions, with no compromises, then they are outside the guilty envelope. I do as much as I can to satisfy my girlyism without impinging on the SO's sensibilities. Soaps, as in Coro Street, are brilliant. SO watches the soaps, and I go girly. The problem is, that I have to ration my time. I bought a do-it-yourself electrolysis machine, so nights spent using that, used up my girly time, when I could be dressing up. I do adore dressing up. Sometimes I go from one outfit to the next, spinning around to see what I look like, and then on to the next, other times I stay in one outfit, and do my nails or watch a video, or practice walking in my high heels.

Undies I hand wash, but my dresses I put in a regular wash. I put washes on too, as well as my SO, as and when the wash basket is full, and my SO is used to this. I choose a time such that it is highly unlikely that she will empty the machine and not me. The zanussi machine spins clothes almost dry, so I hang them up in one of my cupboards, and hey presto, it's sorted.